On Love, Bigamy and Family

I would like to thank the many Filipino readers from Japan and other parts of the world who took some of their precious time to read my blog about bigamy. I got mixed reactions out of that story.

In as much as I would like to dissipate the heat arising out of being caught in between a situation wherein two fellow kababayans on the verge of losing or breaking a family, I could not do so since both parties have their own reasons. Judgment for these kinds of instances are for the court judges to decide should there be a case that has to be filed against the woman.

As far as I could understand, life is really very hard specially in the Philippines. But if we have a set of stable and strong values, hardships are just parts of our lives that come and go. If we take it up as a team, just like a family should, everything would turn out fine. Life is just like a wheel they say, sometimes we are on top and sometimes we are at the bottom; sometimes we are inflated and sometimes we're not.

Now, probably some are asking why I wrote that incident for the world to see. The reason is simple. I would like to find out how people would react to such matters concerning families. I would like to collect their viewpoints and opinions to give me a glimpse on what is really happening out there. Moreover, to be able to have a deeper understanding why these things are happening and prevalent in that place. Are our values so degraded that we already forget about our family's reputation, credibility and honor? Families that have to be nurtured, cared for and preserved. The bond that couples got when they got married is sacred. The vows that they promised each other are supposed to be immortal. However, I am just surprised even at my age, that some people are still pre-occupied with material things more than intangible happiness in this world. Material things that they won't even be able to bring when they depart from this earthly abode.

However, legally the man has a point to pursue his case against the "secretive wife." The wife has her reasons why she got married again despite of being married in the Philippines. The damage has been done not only for the man but also to the woman who I believe still love him and their family. The damage is continually getting bigger the more she stays in that place. I was caught in that situation wherein I could not readily advise the man to file his case in court and copy furnish the Japan Embassy since I know that deep in their hearts they still want to save what they have - their family.

I understand that she is just probably torn between a situation wherein she is faced with two difficult options. To clutch the knifeblade or to let go.. But in my opinion, if I am faced with the same scenario, I would always choose "the lesser evil." I don't know also if how others would react to a similar situation.

Marriage in the Philippines is irrevocable. There is no divorce yet. Marriage is sacred as I repetitively say. How could we marry another person if we don't love that person at that point that we married him/her? Yes, love eventually fades, diminishes and probably evaporates along the way. But if we consider our marriage as a bond that would serve as a guide to our family, then that shouldn't be so. We should strive hard to save the marriage and preserve the family. Not for our own sakes but for the sake of the children. We probably should work out our best to change for the better, keep an open communication line between family members and become transparent with each other's plans.

Due to these broken marriages, breech of trusts between husbands and wives who promised to love each other "in sickness or in death; till death do them part," many children would suffer all the consequences, all the karmas and all the ill effects of those events. Some might justifiably say that "We are okay. My children understands. They are happy because they are having enough money more than they could need."

Are we suppose to pay our families with money, luxuries, diamonds and golds for them to keep silently mum and be apathetic about our ill deeds?

Right now, what I could say is that question is up for you to decide on. That is why I created a poll on this blog to know how you feel about this subject matter. Just a straight answer for those who would like to join in that poll. For us to know how we are different from the rest.